One thing differently

Today I did one thing differently that I can keep doing all year… I took my own lunch with me and it did not contain any processed foods. I took brown rice sushi from trader joes, roast beef slices from trader joes, sunflower seeds from trader joes and a banana from Monterrey market. I did choose a piece of chocolate cake from the cafeteria after chemotherapy and that was made with processed foods: white flour and sugar. That was not a good choice but they do not offer any whole grain pastries . Maybe I can only make better habits not better choices. I don’t know.

New Year Resolutions

Okay, it’s been 6 months now and I have a smart way to change my new years resolution. It had to do with eating out so that I would eat the right foods and the problem is that when you eat at a restaurant you get much more fat and salt in your food.  For the next 6 months I’m going to eat at home if I have a meal there and eat soups and salads out at restaurants, eat anything at Au Coquelet and Saul’s.  This should be the healthiest that I can eat out at the local restaurants.

Not Yet

Applying all that I have learned in every situation of my life is the third floor of my structure. The basement was falling in love with a new way of living…learning how to choose what to eat and reading all of the books that I needed to for these decisions, the first floor is doing the work to learn how to put these changes into practice…to eliminate all the process foods from my diet, to add exercise whenever I am well enough, to learn how to shop so that less and less is wasted and thrown out, to practice mindfulness as a daily or hourly habit.  The second floor is forgiveness and healing of all the past ways and all the future yet to come and living in the now…constantly putting one step in front of the other without sliding backwards. It is not until I have passed through the second floor that I can think that I am putting it all together on the third floor. So just like with my love for Darlene, I am still on the first floor of making these giant changes to my life.  Maybe it will take a whole second year to climb up to another floor.  Do I need to lose all the weight I have in excess? I don’t know but I think so.  The second floor may be a long way in the future because I still need to lose 75 pounds.  That is an enormous amount of weight.  I must go now and practice mindfulness with some meditation.

A Decade of Yoga

Yesterday I went to yoga for the first  time and I decided I was going to give  it a try for a decade. Now, I am going to try to put all that I have learned together, the food choices, the weight watchers, the yoga, the walking, the mindfulness, the summer reading and the court projects plus make time for my journal so that I can see if I can overcome my food-mood problems.  What is going to work the best?  It is not enough to focus on any one of these habits alone, they must all be rolled into my life like my budgeting works with all of my purchases or it doesn’t work.

Change

Nothing has changed since I realized that eating at some restaurants was no different from eating at McDonald’s.  It was a big realization with little consequence to my health because meat is meat wherever you eat it. I have been eating more fruit but not really more vegetables.  I don’t know what I’ve got to do to improve that. One thing I’ve decided is not to worry about buying stuff and then tossing it because the idea is to eat what is fresh and new.  Also, it is true you buy shoes from a shoes store and books from a bookstore so you’ve got to go to the vegetable market to get fresh varietal veggies.

Weight Loss

I heard an explanation for why I’m not going to lose weight while getting chemotherapy. If the body is full of a toxin it cannot get rid of it won’t get rid of its fat. I think that’s how it’s going to turn out but I love the emotional support and daily encouragement to eat healthier foods. I’ll just keep averaging my weight over four weeks to see how much I basically weigh since every weigh in is so wildly different. It’s probably still sane to watch the scale and both the hospital and weight watchers do it. I cannot avoid it anyway. I’m so sick and tired of being sick and tired. If the test for the existence of cancer was approved I wonder what my doctor would do. Would I be cancer free? He just says its impossible now. How long will it be?

Shopping at the Department Store

Today I am going over to Goodwill to purchase some ways to stay warm. I have gotten in the habit of wearing short sleeve shirts all the time even if I am cold so that the hospital can do what they need to do. But they have blankets there. So I’m going to get used to layering up and taking my layers off. Then I guess I’ll keep reading Awaken the Giant Within.

To Make it go faster

I woke up wanting my changes to be had faster but they won’t be.  After I can make it through three weeks comfortable that I will not be3 sick from the Chemotherapy then I will consider another change and a new habit.

New Habit

On the road to making weight watchers a new habit of course I thought I’d do the least amount of work and watch the weight melt off of me.  But I learned that I’m going to have to consider my weight loss one month at a time because of the chemotherapy.  This month I’m going to accept that I may not lose weight at all because of my life style and focus on learning to cook new recipes.  In one month even if I have not lost any weight I want to know how to use fruits and vegetables in new ways everyday.  

De-cluttering

Living de-cluttering my life is not the same as mindfully. How can I live more mindfully?
Drink green tea
Light a candle
Put moisturizer on all over
Eat a piece of fruit
Shop for vegetables
Cook some beans
Read
Journal
Walk five minutes